Is Therapist Guilt Keeping You Stuck in Burnout Mode?
A prospective client reaches out to you or you get assigned another client by the intake coordinator where you work, but you just can’t imagine adding another session to your schedule. How will you possibly find the energy to create space for this person? Where will you find the time and energy to hold their struggles when your caseload already feels full?
Maybe you technically have availability, but you’re exhausted or this is just not the right fit client for your skillset and specialty area. You know taking this client on would entail a lot of extra preparation time and consultation which you don’t have the time or money for.
Whatever the scenario, turning down a client who is seeking support can be emotionally difficult. What do you do? If you turn this client away, you’ll feel guilty and worry if they’ll be able to find services elsewhere. If you take this client on, it could be better than you expected. I’ve certainly had this experience. More likely though is that the internal voice whispering “no” is now screaming at you in the form of overwhelm, exhaustion, resentment, or worse. It all depends on how burned out you were when bringing this client on.
Will you be sacrificing your own emotional or physical health by taking on more clients than you can manage? What happens then?
Empathy: A Therapist Superpower
As I always say, being a therapist with our unique Highly Sensitive temperament gives us access to so many advantages such as heightened intuition, perception, and of course, empathy.
Empathy - that’s what feeds the guilt and can often lead you into making decisions for the sake of your clients’ needs and not your own. Take a moment to think about how many times you…
Let a session run long
Waived your cancellation fee, again
Took on a sliding scale client when you couldn’t afford it
Scheduled or rescheduled a session outside of your preferred availability
Answered client calls, texts, or emails on your personal time
Worked with a client outside your preferred specialty because they really wanted to work with you
I’ve definitely done every single item on this list because…
I felt guilty!
The Burden of Therapist Guilt
It’s one thing to feel guilty in your personal life, but I find therapist guilt hits me in a different way. Is this true for you too? People are coming to you for support during very difficult times, yet you may have to turn them away. This doesn’t mean they won’t find another therapist who is a great fit, but the idea of them going without support makes you feel terrible.
For instance, if you’re the only therapist in a small town, the only therapist in your area working in your speciality, or the only therapist who speaks a certain language, the pressure to take on clients is going to be exponentially higher than the therapist in a big city with a myriad of referral possibilities.
How Many Clients Can You Impact?
Although you may want to help everyone who reaches out, believe me I do too, it’s literally not possible. This means having to make some difficult, yet discerning choices as a Sensitive Therapist to keep the big picture in mind. Do you want to help a few extra people now but then burnout and potentially leave the field or do you want to help so many more people well into the future?
It’s important to prioritize your ability to continue doing this work long-term. The longer you are in the field, the more clients you will help, the more you can advocate for mental health accessibility, and the more therapists you can help train or supervise.
So dear HST, embrace your empathy which helps your current clients feel validated, understood, and truly seen, but remember that your capacity to support is a limited resource. Don’t forget to fill your own cup.
