Is Being a Therapist During the Holidays Exhausting You?
There are many ways to hold our role as therapist - guide, helper, healer, space holder, collaborator, mirror, facilitator. Whatever words you use to describe the role, at the center is giving to another. You’re giving time, energy, empathy, care, and so on. Holding this space for clients can feel anywhere from magical to burdensome, depending on who you’re working with, your caseload size, and what’s going on in the rest of your world. When the holidays come around, being in this role as a therapist while simultaneously giving to those in your personal life can feel overwhelming.
In my pre-therapist life, I loved the holidays - buying thoughtful gifts, writing out personalized cards, baking my grandmother’s cookie recipes, organizing gatherings for my family and friends. I would get lost in the magic of it all and enjoy showering the people in my life with care. Fast forward to the holidays as a therapist and everything feels different. Perhaps you’ve felt that shift too?
At the very least, a big portion of your caregiving, listening, and social energy bank goes towards work, leaving you with less bandwidth this time of year. At worst, you feel completely drained or burned out so trying to balance clients, family, cooking, events, services, shopping, and everything else at the holidays is dreadful or impossible. As others get a break from their work, you may still be doing emotional labor and putting yourself aside.
Perhaps you feel guilty for taking time off when some of your clients seem to need you the most or you worry about the financial impact of time off. There are many reasons why taking the time off that you need feels out of reach or complicated. Even having a holiday vacation can feel draining if it’s filled with to-do lists, social events, or traveling instead of recharging.
Take Time Off, It’s Okay!
Although some of your clients will want to see you over the holidays, it’s important to take advantage of this time of year when most clients will be off. You can work with clients in advance to prepare for your time away, identifying support resources and tools they can lean on in your absence. Go with the rhythm of the season when most people expect to take a therapy break rather than trying to take time off when most of your clients want to schedule.
Last year I took three weeks off at the end of December/early January which was so necessary to get ready for the January rush of new client referrals and existing clients processing what surfaced during family visits. This year I’m taking two weeks off and know many other HSTs taking anywhere from 1-4 weeks off.
Something we often forget to carve out space and energy for is the administrative work that needs to be done as we enter a new year - updating paperwork, closing out financial documents, making sure all progress notes are complete, and so on. You may need to take off a few extra days to complete everything (take a “workcation”) or at least be rested enough to tackle these extra projects in addition to your client sessions.
Make sure you take off enough time to actually feel rested, not just tending to your holiday obligations but thinking about the big picture. If you are limited in how much time you can take due to financial or other factors, consider shifting your holiday plans to create more time for rest. Remind yourself that you NEED a break and to step out of your therapist role from time to time. There’s nothing to feel guilty about.
Set Realistic Expectations + Boundaries
The first step in successfully navigating the holidays as a therapist without feeling overwhelmed or burned out is allowing yourself to have time off, to step out of your therapist role and reconnect with yourself, even if it’s just a day or two but hopefully closer to a week or two!
Getting the time off is only one piece of the puzzle, next come the boundaries! Make sure you don’t overschedule and overcommit yourself. As a therapist, you know the importance of setting limits with people and prioritizing your needs. Don’t forget to apply those same practices to yourself this time of year! If you are exhausted or burned out from supporting your clients (or others in your life), allow yourself to do less and/or ask for help.
I’ll remind you that you don’t have an infinite well of energy to pull from and you need to replenish yourself - to stay healthy, to be an effective therapist, to feel regulated. Please say no to anything that feels like too much and instead choose to focus on what would bring you some joy.
Holding your role as a therapist is unique, powerful, magical, but easily tips into being burdensome when you don’t take care of yourself. The holidays can be gasoline to the burnout fire if you aren’t mindful about your empathy and caregiving output. I encourage you to take a look at how much you’re giving this time of year to clients, to family, to friends, and to your community. What is the impact of that giving? Where can you pull back to nourish yourself?
Six Simple Steps to Six Weeks Vacation
Getting the time off you need each year often feels impossible because of the double whammy of:
Paying for trips and holiday plans…
While also NOT GETTING PAID because you’re not seeing clients
If you're...
Overworked, overwhelmed, and burned out in your practice.
Going long stretches without taking any or enough time off to feel your best.
Feel jealous or resentful when clients talk about their vacations because you can’t afford to take a break.
Watch the Six Simple Steps to Six Weeks Vacation workshop.
This workshop will…
Help you prioritize your well-being by taking the paid time off you truly need.
Take breaks from clinical work without the stress of lost income.
Have enough money set aside to take exciting trips with family and friends.
Create a life where there is no financial anxiety if you are sick or just need a day off.
Includes an in-depth workbook with a vacation fund calculator and tutorial video so you know just how much to set aside each week to take the vacation, holiday, and sick time you need every year!
Ready to take more time off without worrying about lost income? Sign up here.
