Why You’re Actually Not Available Between Sessions as a Sensitive Therapist
Being a therapist is unlike any other job. Most people struggle to understand what we even do, let alone the emotional and mental energy this work requires. Seeing 5, 10, 15, or 20+ clients per week does not equate to the same amount of hours at any other job. Yes, there’s the behind-the-scenes administrative tasks - notes, billing, trainings, returning calls, scheduling, gathering resources - but there’s also the processing and recuperating that is required for your work to be both effective for clients and sustainable for you.
Pressure to Work More + Be More Available
I wonder if you’ve experience any of these scenarios when trying to balance work and your personal life:
A loved one not understanding why you can’t work 35-40 clinical hours per week because they work that many hours in another type of job.
Constantly receiving calls, texts, or requests for support from family or friends when you’re in the middle of your work day because they know you have time between sessions.
Expectation to tend to chores, childcare, pet care, or personal matters between sessions when you work from home.
Pressure to be available immediately after your sessions end for the day.
Most, if not all, people in your personal life don’t have the lived experience of being a therapist. They don’t see all the invisible mental and emotional labor it takes to support clients, and don't know about all the work that is required outside of session. This is the same reason people balk at the hourly rates private practice therapists charge - they don’t realize that the work doesn’t stop after 50 minutes.
You Need Space to Decompress
This is where the difficult work of educating about your experience and setting boundaries becomes essential. I know it’s hard and you’re probably exhausted, but being in the therapist role is not sustainable when a clear distinction between work and home is missing. You absolutely need space to not only complete all your admin work (hello, notes backlog) but also process and decompress on a daily basis.
As a highly sensitive therapist, you will be more impacted by this work. Period! Being more naturally empathetic, aware of subtleties, and wired to process deeply, you will be more emotionally and energetically depleted by the complex work you do with clients. Those moments between sessions and at the end of the day must be reserved for processing, reflecting, recharging, releasing, and doing your notes.
You’re Not Available Between Sessions
It’s NOT free time! You’re NOT really available. Even if other people don’t understand because they don’t need space for decompression in their line of work, it doesn’t change the fact that you need to protect this time. I’ll say it again - it’s not free time, you are not actually available.
Another layer to consider as an HST is the transition piece. Your brain is wired to pause and reflect before every new activity. This is part of the reason it can be challenging to switch between sessions and writing notes or between admin work and going home after a long day.
If you tend to a personal matter during the day that you’d rather deal with later, you then add two extra transitions - moving into partner/parent/sibling/friend mode and then back to therapist mode. This will eat up a lot of mental and probably emotional energy. What’s the consequence of losing that energy, especially if you’ve got a few back-to-back sessions, a challenging couple, or a complex trauma case on your schedule later that day?
Protect Your Energy
Being a therapist is unlike any other job. It takes a significant amount of energy, empathy, presence, focus, and preparation. It’s important to protect the space around the work so you’ll have the internal resources you need to show up fully for your clients, get your admin work done, process and decompress afterward, and then have something left over for yourself. You don’t want to be so depleted that you aren’t able to show up for your clients, yourself, and your personal relationships.
Next time someone from your personal life asks you to do something in the middle of your work day, ask yourself “at what cost am I saying yes?”. You can always say yes, especially if it feels supportive, but at least ask yourself the question first.
