Are Your Needs as a Sensitive Therapist Being Ignored?
Although I’ve been in private practice for nearly 7 years, I often forget that I can work whatever hours I want, take breaks and vacations whenever I need to, and decide who I work with and how that work is done. Why do I sometimes feel stuck in doing things a certain way?
For instance, I had wanted to take Fridays off for years! I heard others talk about the permanent “three-day weekend” and I wanted that too, but it felt so out of reach. Having worked weekends for many years, getting Saturdays and Sundays off every week already felt luxurious, but Fridays too? Now that was just gluttonous!
All these thoughts went through my mind about needing to be available for clients, especially since I already wasn’t offering early morning or late evening hours. I’m not sure why I thought this when I personally do not want to have my own therapy on Friday! I’ve tried it and it always ends up being a hassle. I’m either too tired, have plans, or just don’t feel like it!
Fast forward and here I am after a year of having Fridays off. Honestly, I don’t know how I survived before! My client work is rich and impactful, yet can leave me feeling depleted and in need of some introverted recharge time by the end of the week! Fridays have become an essential buffer day between work and my personal life. Resting on Fridays allows me to engage more on the weekends - socializing, running errands, doing house chores, and tending to my self-care.
Not All Practices Look the Same
When I feel stuck in the parts of my practice that aren’t serving me, I now remind myself that I have autonomy to make changes and that not all practices need to look the same! What are the changes you want to make to your own practice or how you work with clients? What’s holding you back from implementing these changes?
For highly sensitive therapists especially, it’s easy to get caught up in what other therapists are doing and think you need to conform. Unfortunately, what other therapists are doing won’t work for us and will probably lead to burnout. For example, most HSTs max out at 3-4 clients per day while others regularly see 5-7 clients per day. So it’s especially important for you to look within and ask, what do I need to make this work sustainable for the long term?
More Fulfillment Is Available
Another change I recently realized I needed was around how I was working with clients. Generally I work with folks who want to attend sessions weekly and do depth work over the course of a few years, but I had never been really explicit about my preference for this type of work when screening new clients. Over the pandemic, I began seeing a few clients who preferred to pop in once or twice per month and I realized just how draining and unsatisfying this rhythm was for me.
After a lot of processing in consultation, I now only work with clients with whom weekly depth therapy is a good fit. Although the work can still be draining, it’s also more rewarding. I know my clients really well and growth is more consistent.
Think Outside the Box
There are so many ways to honor your needs and think outside the box to keep your therapy work manageable. Whether you’re in private practice or not, there could be small adjustments available such as:
Ditch the “professional” look and wear comfy clothes to work every day
Write paper notes if an EHR is too overwhelming
Always have your next day off scheduled in your calendar
Squeeze in longer breaks between clients
Condense clients into fewer days and take more days off every week
Change the decor in your office to be more sensory and HSP- friendly
Decide what frequency of client sessions works best for your style (i.e. weekly or biweekly only)
Take time off every month
Have a phone session-only day and work in your PJs
Implement a flexible cancellation policy
Bring your pets to the office for comfort
See fewer clients and incorporate another type of work you love
These are just a few examples of ways to make your practice more supportive and welcoming for your sensitive nervous system. What would be on your list?
When you create a practice or therapeutic style that honors your needs, the work can feel more sustainable. When you feel supported, you can more easily support your clients. Making changes may make your services unavailable to some folks and that’s okay! You can’t help everyone, especially if your needs are ignored, but you can help some people in deeply profound ways. Which do you choose?
