How to Manage Difficult Times While Feeling Compassion Fatigue
As I write this post, fire season has begun early in California while therapists in other areas are experiencing the possibility of hurricanes, tornadoes, and other extreme weather. This while the pandemic rages on and the Black Lives Matter movement is fighting harder than ever for racial justice. Life hasn’t felt “normal” is months making it difficult for Sensitive folks to feel regulated while Sensitive Therapists are worrying if they have enough capacity to keep going under this level of stress. For perhaps the first time, we are suffering collectively alongside all of our clients.
Whether you’re supporting clients through loss from fire, storms, racism, or Covid, you are most likely holding more traumatic experiences than usual and possibly feeling the effects of compassion fatigue or vicarious trauma which the American Counseling Association defines as “the emotional residue of exposure that counselors have from working with people as they are hearing their trauma stories and become witnesses to the pain, fear, and terror that trauma survivors have endured.”
How do these intense experiences impact Sensitive Therapists specifically? I’ll remind you that Highly Sensitive People are wired to be more empathetic and have the ability to pick up subtleties more so than the other 80% of the population. This means that we feel the emotions of others at a deep level, often as if it were our own experience. Also, we notice little changes in our environment. For me and many other therapists living in areas that have wildfires, smelling smoky air activates a nervous system response. Even the smallest hint of smoke causes me to go into processing mode - how close are the fires to me, am I safe, what do I need to do to prepare for evacuation, where will I go, how are others being impacted that are in the fire zones. Others might not notice the slight change in air quality or easily brush off worry unless they are directly impacted, but not the HSP who is wired to notice danger and think ahead to stay safe.
We often have to work alongside difficult or traumatic life events, whether on a personal, regional, or global level. So how do we maintain some type of balance for ourselves while supporting others?
Prepare in Advance
If you’re a therapist living in a region with some type of extreme weather, fire season or some other type of threat, take time to prepare in advance. Your deeply processing brain will be scanning all the possible scenarios in an effort to prepare and will not rest until it knows the game plan for an emergency. Do yourself a favor and put together a safety plan so your mind can rest and you can focus on the other parts of your life. I personally found great relief by signing up for emergency alerts through my county and downloading the Pulse Point app which I heard about on NextDoor.
Tend to Your Sensitive Nervous System
Your nervous system is more sensitive to change and reactive under stress so it’s going to need more self-soothing than usual under times of chronic stress or compassion fatigue. To keep yourself from slipping into hypo or hyperarousal, practice your favorite regulation exercises regularly. My current favorites are:
You may also find it soothing to regularly reduce sensory input and stimulation. This could look like laying in a quiet, dark room for 15 minutes after work, reducing screen time before bed, or wearing an eye mask during your workday breaks. Weighted blankets, warm baths, or soothing music may also be helpful. Whatever approach works for you, create little pockets of time throughout the day to regulate and relax.
Create Space for Yourself
If available, take time away from your practice for a long weekend or longer if that is financially feasible for you. On a daily basis, you may find it helpful to intentionally separate the emotions you “absorb” from clients from your own. You can visualize setting down or releasing whatever emotions were present throughout your clinical work and reminding yourself “these are not mine”. Another way to create separation in order to maintain your energy levels and emotional regulation is to be mindful of boundaries in your personal and professional life. Set up a crisis plan and don’t take client calls outside of business hours, set limits on personal calls or texts during client hours, and say “no” to social invitations if you’re feeling depleted.
Permission to be the “Good Enough” Therapist
If you’re not able to take time away to replenish and feeling depleted but have to work, give yourself permission to be the “good enough” therapist. You can hold space for clients, provide validation and mirroring, and create a supportive container without needing to pull out all the bells and whistles. Sometimes showing up and being consistent is better for the client and therapist than being absent.
Seek Out Support
During difficult times it’s more important than ever to seek out personal and professional support. Consider seeing your own therapist if you aren’t already and get consultation/supervision to ensure you are worried about your ability to see your work clearly in times of depletion. As we know so well, the listening and mirroring of a trusted individual can help us see more clearly what we need.
Being more empathetic and more aware of little details is a great asset as a Sensitive Therapist but can become overwhelming when life becomes stressful, scary, or we are supporting many clients through trauma. Our temperament makes us more prone to the effects of compassion fatigue or vicarious trauma, but thankfully we are also more susceptible to the beneficial effects of positive supports. Now more than ever it’s important to focus on the essentials and prioritize preserving your energy. Rest, unplug, get therapy and consultation, create an emergency plan, practice regulation exercises on a daily basis, and remember that you don’t have to be perfect to be an effective support person for your clients.
