The Gift of Being a Deeply Feeling Therapist
About a year ago I was feeling a growing sense of dissatisfaction in my therapy work, one that I couldn’t ignore any longer. During the height of the pandemic I had become very relaxed around my screening process and took on clients who weren’t interested in the relational depth work that I thrive on.
I found myself in an uncomfortable space - navigating how to maintain continuity and progress between irregularly scheduled sessions instead of using my limited energy to hold emotional space for my clients. As a result, I was mostly working in my head with these clients and felt more exhausted than I had been in a long time. My best therapist self is alive when I can work from my intuition, when I can be in an embodied space with clients - bottom up versus top down - but I struggled to get into this space when clients weren’t coming in weekly or at a consistent interval.
After grappling with my discontent for quite some time, I decided I needed to make the difficult decision of referring a few clients out. As hard as this decision always is, I knew it was best for everyone. I needed to be free to work in a way that suits me, at a frequency that made sense for my approach, and clients deserved to be matched with a therapist who would thrive meeting them where they are.
Peace in Your Practice
Fast forward to the present day and I feel a lot more peace in my practice. That squirmy feeling of discontent has subsided. Outside of the emotional heaviness of seeing my clients struggle or having countertransference experiences, being in my practice feels effortless. I have systems that work well and support me to focus on my clinical work. The clients who I work with are a good fit. Clearing away the frustrations of working with clients who aren’t a good fit has freed up so much energy to support the clients who are while also allowing me to focus on other projects that fulfill me - like consulting or writing.
Just recently, I’ve been in awe of the big strides my long-term clients are making. Witnessing and supporting clients every week over several years is a gift! I know what it took for them to be where they are today - to care for themselves without judgment, to know how to regulate their emotions, to set limits with difficult family members, to start a relationship, to have a baby, to prioritize self-care over work. It’s amazing to not only witness, but to have been along for the ride and know all the work they’ve done to get to where they are now!
The Gift of Being a Sensitive Therapist
Instead of being preoccupied by the frustration of working in a way that doesn’t quite fit, I feel fully awake and grateful to the growth that’s happening in front of me. The gift of being highly sensitive as a therapist is being able to notice all the subtle changes your clients experience, take in the full trajectory of their process, and feel their growth deeply as if it were your own.
Being a deeply feeling, empathetic therapist certainly has its struggles, don’t get me wrong, but let’s not forget the bright spots that keep us doing this work. When you can allow yourself permission to work in alignment with your needs, you get to bypass burnout and experience the best parts of being an HST.
With that in mind, I invite you to ask yourself:
Who do you want to work with?
How do you want to practice?
What modalities do you want to use?
When do you want to schedule sessions?
Where do you feel most comfortable seeing clients?
Really listen inward when asking yourself these questions and notice if any “shoulds” arise in the answers. Are you approaching your therapy work from a place that supports your unique needs as an HST, allows you to show up fully for your clients, and leaves room to deeply feel the gifts of this work?
Honor Your HST Needs
If you haven’t yet, be sure to watch my free workshop “3 Pillars of a Sustainable Practice” to learn to honor your unique needs as a sensitive therapist and ensure incoming clients are the best fit and not taking more energy than you have to give. Click here to watch instantly.
